7 Things That Help Me Stay Sober
#5: Always keeping my favourite food/drinks on hand.
It’s been 70 days since I got sober and I feel so blessed. Three months ago I would have never imagined getting to 70 whole days. The quarantine sent me into the darkest times of my addiction to alcohol, drugs and cigarettes, and yet the pandemic has helped me quit these things as well, allowing me the time to read and learn everything I can about my addictions and keeping me isolated from potential threats.
I’m not going to lie and say it was easy, but I can’t say it was particularly difficult either; well, at least not this time. I learned the truth: that alcohol wasn’t doing me any favours and it never did. I changed my unconscious beliefs from thinking alcohol was normal, fun and necessary, to knowing it was reckless, not fun and completely uncecessary. Drinking isn’t helpful, only harmful to social functioning, your well-being and even your emotions. Thankfully, my anxiety has reduced significantly since I stopped drinking, my thinking has gotten clearer and I am so much happier and less stressed. Most importantly, I am tackling life instead of wasting time, and although this is the hardest part, it’s also the most rewarding.
So other than feeling better mentally and physically, there are many other things I swear by that help me stay sober.
1) Exercise
You know those stereotypical portrayals of people who were alcoholics, quit, and then become avid yogis? Yeah, that’s me. Stretching just feels so good for my body and cleansing for the soul. It’s giving me back the circulation I was losing from too much cigarette smoking during drunken nights. Yoga is calming my mind when I feel on edge (which I have to admit happens a lot getting sober). It also helps to release endorphins, giving me a boost of happiness, kind of like the one I got when I was drinking (except, the alcohol was lying to me).
You don’t have to adopt yoga because any type of exercise will do. I walk a lot now and I even went for a few runs. Running or any other more vigorous exercise is actually best for dealing with cravings because it is a bigger endorphin release. Also, vigorous exercise rewires pathways in your brain and creates new connections, which helps to reverse the damage done by drinking.
2) Making goals/to-do lists and sticking to them
Besides sticking to the goal of not drinking, doing other things that you say you’re going to do is so important to your self-confidence and self-esteem. Focusing on a plan of action and following through will help you reduce cravings for alcohol and stay sober.
For example, a common activity for newly sober people is to crave and eat a lot of sweets (me included), but because my goal is to eat healthier now, I make sure to stick to that plan because I feel better about myself when I do eat better.
If you can stick to your sober goal, you can stick to your nightly walk, no matter what. Following through with your plans is going to allow you to trust yourself, and when you trust yourself, you will be able to tolerate more situations that you’re currently staying away from (like bars and people drinking).
3) Starting a new hobby or activity
Old hobbies are good and you’re probably engaging in them more now that you’re not wasting time drinking, but new hobbies are even better because they’re something NEW and exciting for your brain, which will be more distracting than activities you’re already used to doing.
I recently started taking an entrepreneurship class and I only started publishing stories on Medium since I got sober. Those are two new things for me, which keep me busy, engaged, motivated and excited about my new life. I’m basically designing my future and alcohol has no part in it. So take on something new that you always wanted to do but never did because you were too drunk or hungover to try it.
4) Reading
Focusing on anything except not taking that first drink is super helpful in staying sober. Reading helps me most because I enjoy it, it’s distracting to my alcoholic thoughts, and it teaches me things I want to know. Also, I can actually focus, concentrate and remember what I’m reading now that I’m not drinking. That’s a great feeling. Sober memoirs or articles are great, but anything works as a distraction from possible cravings.
5) Always keeping my favourite food/drinks on hand
I used to be anxious whenever I didn’t have an alcoholic beverage on hand and I would worry about how and when I would be able to get some more alcohol as fast as possible. It was like all my thoughts were focused on that next drink and as soon as I got it, I could relax.
While that anxious feeling isn’t the same level I feel without my favourite drinks and foods now, having them around still helps me relax and enjoy myself without alcohol. Most importantly, they bring back that notion of feeling like I am treating myself. I like to carry one of 3 things with me at all times wherever I go, or have them packed in my refrigerator at home: sparkling/carbonated water, dark chocolate and non-alcoholic beer.
Interestingly, sparkling/carbonated water or seltzer as some call it, is the stereotypical sober people drink. I don’t know why, but I love it too. I was a beer drinker so I find myself craving the bubbles, so this definitively works to beat my cravings. Plus, like a beer used to be, the bubbly water is a treat for me, especially when you add lime or lemon to it and use a straw.
The dark chocolate is a treat too, but a healthy one I can feel good about. I put it in my mouth and I can literally feel the dopamine being triggered like how I used to feel on that first sip of beer.
Non-alcoholic beverages aren’t for everyone, but I can easily drink a non-alcoholic beer, enjoy it and not be triggered. If it works for you, great! If it doesn’t, definitely avoid it.
I never even liked any these things when I was drinking but now I get the feeling that something is missing if I don’t have at least one of them in my fridge or in my backpack at all times. Sometimes I even have all three treats. You never know when you need a “treat,” and for an alcoholic, that’s usually pretty often. We’re used to treating ourselves and we deserve it. So find something that calms your nerves.
5) Staying away from triggers
Triggers to drink alcohol can include certain people, old friends, bars, big events or parties with booze and even certain family members who drink. While you may not be able to avoid some family holiday outings, others you can ditch completely and you shouldn’t feel bad about it.
Your triggers may not even be people that drink but just negative, soul-sucking, rude, inconsiderate and mean people that upset you. I hate getting upset now so I try to avoid people that I know will bring me down and work on my reaction when I do encounter them.
Find your triggers and know what you can and cannot handle. Respect yourself enough to say no and walk away from situations that no longer serve you, trigger you, and especially people that try to sabotage your sobriety.
6) Talking to someone you KNOW can talk you out of relapsing when you have a craving
Cravings for alcohol are inevitable and it’s important to have a go-to person that you trust and that always does a good job of talking you out of relapsing. Have somebody you can tell everything to, who understands you, perhaps has seen you every step of the way throughout your journey to sobriety (at your worst and at your best), who wants the best for you, is proud of you, and is just great at supporting and encouraging you to keep going. This person will remind you that you are doing the right thing and compliment your achievements. Thank this person because they are truly a life savior.
Have you decided yet what exercise you will do, goals you will achieve, a new hobby to begin, what book you will read, your new “treats” that keep you sane, what triggers to avoid and who your main support person is, now that you’re sober?
You got sober, you’re staying sober and you can do anything. So what’s next? Keep following your dreams; listen to your gut and work hard to be the person you want to be.
